We as a Community of Zoroastrian Youth

[Parizad]

a lot of you got spammed in your e-mails with this exact same post. I apologize for the repeat... it's merely here to reach those who aren't on my e-mail list.


Hi Everyone,

It’s been awhile since I mass wrote a bunch of you. The last time I did this, I started my e-mail saying that one day I’m going to start a website for Zoroastrian youths to vent their frustrations and share our stories about our community –because there just wasn’t a good enough outlet for us to do that. The response was overwhelming and I was actually surprised that people responded so positively to the idea… which really made me wonder if I should have opened my mouth in the first place. But with the help of Narius’ technical expertise, we were able to launch Zpeakerbox as a medium for the youths to interact, discuss topics and ideas, build friendships and well… you know.

We’ve nearly reached 2 ½ years since Zpeakerbox began and it’s surreal at the time that has passed. Perhaps what has made me the most proud of this project was the way in which it was able to bring people together and just make the world a little bit smaller for our community. In December 2005, a handful of our members attended the Miami congress with more anticipation of meeting ZB members they had only spoken to or gotten to know through the site. And of course, well before then and much after, what amazed me the most was that a number of our members –who ordinarily would not have known each other –have flown long distances just to meet with and have a good time.

But my inspiration to start the site wasn’t to bring our youths together because really, then what different is Zpeakerbox from other websites such as Friendster, Myspace, Facebook, Hi5, Yahoo, and the like? That’s not to say that I am not pleased by the number of new friendships that have been built because of this site. No, it began as an initiative project that could potentially inspire hundreds of other Zoroastrian youths to develop their ideas and do something positively constructive for our community. As a youth myself, I understand the commitments of everyday life that exploit all our energy from fulfilling what I believe is a duty to our community. But the lack of youth engagement in our community and the lack of youth leadership (not that all youths are like this) is a little unsettling. Why is it that in two of Canada’s most populous Zoroastrian communities, there is a lacking youth community? Both cities have youth committees that are just not able to tap into the spirit of its youth. Why is it that the youth sub-committee of FEZANA (Federation of Zoroastrian Associations of North America) is currently lacking its ZYNA (Zoroastrian Youth of North America) co-chair committee? How can it be that out of all the Zoroastrian youth in all of North America, perhaps only one person has stepped forward to assume the current positions available? And yes, why am I not doing all that I can do? I don’t have answers and I don’t even know where to begin looking.

I have great respect for the leaders of our community who continually put forth their efforts for the betterment of our Zoroastrian community. Living in North America, I am the most exposed to events and ideas pressed on this front. But mixed in with every good intention and every good action seems to be a backlash of negativity and hopelessness. We ask the same questions and argue the same arguments our parents and aunties and uncles have argued; it doesn’t seem we are pushing forward, accepting what is, and doing something about it. We fight and throw the same tantrums we curse the elders in our community for doing; we gossip and we poison the good deeds of others with our own opinions of what could have, should have and would have been better had we done it ourselves. But then we don’t do anything at all. We roll our eyes and we get defensive (sometimes) when our parents or those aunties and uncles say to us “the youths just don’t care about the community.” And sometimes we just give up caring what these elders think of us and we distance ourselves from them and our community. I mean, really, who are they to say anything to us? We went to Zoroastrian study classes, we have some Zoroastrian friends, maybe some of us helped out on a youth committee once… what more do they want from us?

And perhaps, that’s our problem. The desire to make a positive, effective contribution to our community is nothing more than something we have to do because our parents are nudging us to –kind of like when we got our Navjotes done because our moms told us to.

Before I get a whole host of offensive remarks, let me give credit to the youths who are doing something… anything… for the sake of improving the conditions of our community. But surely some of you agree that more can be done.

I look at the politics that weave through every decision our respected elders make in their highly regarded positions in our community. I sometimes think that the seemingly senseless battles that they engage in is what turns off so many youths from aspiring to initiate their ideas within our community. I could be wrong in making this assumption but I can’t come to an otherwise reasonable explanation as to why so many of our youths lack a spirit to get involved with the community.

It is easy to point fingers and blame people for the failures of our community and it is easier to become defensive when we are exposed to a painful truth about who we are as Zoroastrians; who we are as Parsi-Zarthushtis, Irani-Zarthushtis, and neo-Zarthushtis. A think a large majority of our community is beginning to accept the fact that we as a community of people are dying because of our own bad blood; our desperate need to preserve our dwindling community is ultimately what is speeding up the process. We forget the very core principles our religion teaches us to be good people and do good in the world and we push our views and beliefs onto others in the name of doing good. Some of us forget tolerance and trip over what is considered “good manner.” At the end of the day, we become tired of arguing the same points and forcing ourselves to be heard. The ones who fight hard to do all they can, retract to their own private lives of family and friends and succumb into a sense of hopelessness –not for themselves but for the community to ever out-climb the mess we’ve fallen into.

I write all this not to depress and disappoint you with the realities of our community. I am writing this because there is a sense of restlessness in myself when I see that there is something lacking. I don’t know what to do about it myself and maybe you don’t either but I do feel that something should be done. We as youths should take pride in being Zoroastrian –for some of us, being Parsi –and stop being dormant to perhaps one of the most influencing parts of our own identity.

I know many of you will read this and at least half of you won’t finish entirely. Some of you may save it aside for when you don’t have homework or work to focus on first. Of those of you who read it in its entirety, a handful of you will think about what I’ve said and make your opinions –both positive and negative. And of that handful, maybe a few will respond to what I’ve said. Some of you may be unsettled by what I’ve written and I may have even hit a nerve; for others, it’ll just be like another typical Parizad e-mail. My hope is that of the many of you who will read this, it will spark the same sentiments about our need to do something and perhaps of all of you, at least one you will take the initiative to push the boundaries we so comfortably live within.

All that being said, now I don’t know how to end. The end.

Best,
Parizad

[zoroangel]

How can it be that out of all the Zoroastrian youth in all of North America, perhaps only one person has stepped forward to assume the current positions available? And yes, why am I not doing all that I can do? I don’t have answers and I don’t even know where to begin looking.

Hey Parizad - I did read the whole thing - last night the email came to my phone when I was asleep - just so you know out of 59 pages to read on my phone I got more than halfway and decided to read it this morning....so I have practically read this twice.

For now, I will only address this one quote of yours as I have had some people approach me about taking on the ZYNA position and they wanted to know what's involved, so this issue is fresh on my mind.

When choosing ZYNA co-chairs the first issue is that there is NO OFFICIAL CALL for co-chairs sent out!!! There is the first problem. We get to read about it in the most recent FEZANA that only one person from east cost US has signed up. Most of the time only "certain people" are approached by FEZANA or your local Z. Association's Executive to become a co-chair. Once the FEZANA Board fixes this process I am sure this will fix this problem.

There are lots of youth that are dying to take on positions of responsibility. I found that out the hard way - had I known this before, I wouldn't have been feeling so guilty so long about quitting my reponsibilities earlier. But, I was pleasantly surprised to find that once the people find out what services are needed they are willing to come forward and help.....for example, if you read the last few FEZANA journals, you will see a new face and new name under the youth section. Farah is someone that approached us with what services she can/cannot offer and volunteered to write for the journal as she is studying in that field. Who knew?? What about the new layout editors? The new design editors? The new publisher? They all volunteered their services after they found that we needed people to step up and do the job.

I think it's a matter of getting the word out there to the people who really care enough to volunteer. Unfortunately, unlike what other people say, I say our N.A. community is SOO SOO SOO BIG that it's difficult to get the word out to people that we need them. We need to get the word out faster and better - using the FEZANA journal is a mute point since it comes out once in 3 months and it's old news by then.

[Jimmy]

Pari I read your post fully...twice. You make some really excellent points here, points that I loose sleep over as well.

Why is there a disengagement of Z youth in their community? Thats a million dollar question. In my opinion, its the political and religious chaos that has taken hold of our community. In my mind, there are two sides to our religion, so deadlocked and headstrong in their beliefs that the end result is similar to two eagles fighting, locked claws in mid-air... the question is will they disengage each other before they hit the ground?

As you all know my opinions differ from what i would perceive as a good majority of Z's, though i know there are people out there who share the same thoughts about religion. You all know i have debated with many people on ZB and in person about the tenets that i believe in, not to make them believe what I do, but rather for good stimulating conversation (thought it may not seem like it at times, its the truth). Unfortunately that is not the case in the higher levels of our religious orgs.

"We forget the very core principles our religion teaches us to be good people and do good in the world and we push our views and beliefs onto others in the name of doing good."

BOTH sides, conservative and liberal think they are furthering the religion in their own minds. BOTH sides, think they are right, and want the other to change. BOTH sides will never change. And i think this type of behavior is what turns off not only youths but adults alike from getting involved. But what you wrote hit a much deeper chord for me because i can relate it to my situation.

When it comes to debating with another Z, no i will not push my beliefs on them or expect their views to change because they are debating with me. However if i was a Z youth leader, and things were happening in my community that directly contradicted what i held holy, and what i believed in, it would be impossible for me to not speak my mind and defend my post. If I was in a lead position, and if people were watching me, i would not just sit idly by and watch as my organization made rules that i thought were questionable. Would that be forcing my views upon others? Yes. But the people who are making the rules that i object to are forcing their beliefs on me / others. So whats the answer to this stalemate? In my mind it would be to have the two sides disengage, form orgs where key issues wont hold their respective communities back. Another reason why we are having this issue, and this ties into why i bolded the above statements, is that our religion is like the Wild west.. everyone does and says what they think is right without a governing body telling them otherwise. People and grouples take the liberty to create and manipulate rules for their own agendas and who can really tell them otherwise, besides otherpeople on equal footing. Another solution is to create a authority which would comprise of our high preists along with learned and respected religious scholors, setting the rules with reasons, once an for all, regarding key issues so there is no more debate. Lay the law down. If a org wants to be called a Zoroastrian org they must abide by those rules. If people dont like it then they can form their own offshoot of Zoroastrianism. Either way the solution is not elegant or likely to happen.

One of the reasons why our family decided to stop going to the local darbe meher was that we felt we couldn’t really spiritually identify with the people who were starting to come there. If we would go for the sake of religion, its seemd a bit silly to go to a place where a good 90% of the people disagreed with your beliefs. Could i have led a more active role in that organization? yes. However I cannot imagine a way to do that which would both preserve what I believe in, and not offend other people who did not believe what i did (again this was a large part of the community). We started to question, is this what we believe in? Is this right? Is this my religion? Is this what I practice? It was more of a place for social gathering than for religion for us because prayers aside, it seemed like what we practiced and what they preached were two different things.

"At the end of the day, we become tired of arguing the same points and forcing ourselves to be heard. The ones who fight hard to do all they can, retract to their own private lives of family and friends and succumb into a sense of hopelessness –not for themselves but for the community to ever out-climb the mess we’ve fallen into."

This last bit which you wrote is the key here. People see the hornets nest of issues that surround our community and think... ok I got stung a few times, is this really worth my time? What am I accomplishing here? Did I make a difference, or am I just adding to the chaos? I have found that if one feels passionately enough about helping the community they wont let politics stop them. They may make a difference in their own way, create scholarships, charitable trusts, or charity drives etc. There are a ton of ways to help the religion/community without getting sucked into the main political arena. But that’s just where I stand on this issue.

[zoroangel]

This last bit which you wrote is the key here. People see the hornets nest of issues that surround our community and think... ok I got stung a few times, is this really worth my time? What am I accomplishing here? Did I make a difference, or am I just adding to the chaos? I have found that if one feels passionately enough about helping the community they wont let politics stop them. They may make a difference in their own way, create scholarships, charitable trusts, or charity drives etc. There are a ton of ways to help the religion/community without getting sucked into the main political arena. But that’s just where I stand on this issue.

Not true Jimmy. No matter what kind of service you give the Z. community in N.A. there is always politics involved in whatever you do. Unless you create your own Z. organization that is not a part of FEZANA or any local association in N.A. with your own Board of Directors, you will always have someone/association who will interfere in what you do and tell you how to do it and what to do!! This is a fact. There is no way of doing what you mentioned - create scholarships, charitable trusts, or charity drives etc., without actually having to interact with some Z. organization or the other that will make trouble for you.


The reason there is a lack of Z. youth is because they don't want to go down the same road the Z. adults are on. The youth now are not die hard religionists - they practice mainstream Zoroastrianism - that is the main problem right now. They don't know much about the religion and so they are not as interested in it. They find it more stimulating to hang out with their non-Zoro friends then the Zoros. Those that do hang out with Zoro youth are not interested in going to the darbe mehr. They would rather meet at other locations like pubs, people's houses or they would like a night out.


One of the main reasons for youth no longer having events at the T.O. darbe mehr is the shit they get into after organizing a party there. I can't count the number of times I have been yelled at during an event for something or the other that apparently I was doing wrong. Then weeks later I'd get a letter in the mail from the House and Garden Committee of ZSO with a whole bunch of stuff that the caretaker found and blamed on me when having an event there. If this is the way they want to work then ofcourse no youth wants to go through this and organize an event. For example, last time we were there we were having a dress rehearsal and setting up the night before a neXus fundraiser and I get told by the caretaker that we shouldn't be there and that we had to leave asap. We shouldn't be playing music and we shouldn't be decorating the hall. Lucky for me that year I was on the ZSO Executive so I called up the President and told him what happened and he said that we could do whatever we wanted that night and just lock up when were done. But, can you imagine what one has to go through just to book an event there. That year we all had our neXus meetings at a coffee shop two streets from the darbe mehr, not even at the darbe mehr cause no one wanted to go there or to call everytime and go through the hassels of booking it.

[Jimmy]

Not true Jimmy. No matter what kind of service you give the Z. community in N.A. there is always politics involved in whatever you do. Unless you create your own Z. organization that is not a part of FEZANA or any local association in N.A. with your own Board of Directors, you will always have someone/association who will interfere in what you do and tell you how to do it and what to do!! This is a fact. There is no way of doing what you mentioned - create scholarships, charitable trusts, or charity drives etc., without actually having to interact with some Z. organization or the other that will make trouble for you.

It may be tough but its definitly possible. I know because i have done this before. Just dont go through any orgs, period. The flexiblity and freedom is great, but your target audience may be cut down a bit. Manage the money/event yourself, and let the words spread through word of mouth or the internet.

[Jamsheer]

In addition to the sports nights etc. that the ZSO has every month (which is a good social gathering, but not nearly enough) why doesn't the youth volunteer as a group? Perhaps at a food bank or a homeless shelter, etc.? Its just an idea but it might help to foster more community spirit.

If other zoros in the toronto area do volunteer, please do let me know as I would certainly like to help out in any way I can.

[kaos]

Paz, I must commend you for this awesome post.
Damn why don't you become an orator/speech writer while you're at it?

Jimmy, Afreed & yourself have made some great points. And the topic is worthy of some debate (not bickering).

Too many a time I have seen Z youth in the Australian community as very distanced, perhaps its their upbringing in a western country.

I may be no expert, but it sure as hell is a detractor when I try to build meaningful friendships but somehow cannot find that "oomph" or "zing" to be able to communicate on the same level.

Don't get me wrong, im far from perfect and am not perfect, but some of the ideas portrayed by the youth here are a wee-bit far fetched.

Many a time this will lead to difference of opinion (when does it not?!!), but then again, we Z's love to politicise everything (maybe Im generalisin, maybe I am wrong, maybe its a fact - but this is what I have seen).

If we spend our years bickering, whinging and bitching about petty stuff, then community is surely headed for nowhere-land (and into oblivion, IMHO) . And trust me, it sucks to be without an identity, I have seen so many youth in NZ/AUS who act as if they're a bunch of blue blooded know-it-alls.

anyway, I'm not done yet.....will continue my post later.

However I applaud Jimmy, Afreed & yourself on being such a great support to the Z youth....you're all doing a marvellous job.

Keep it up!!

[zoroangel]

In addition to the sports nights etc. that the ZSO has every month (which is a good social gathering, but not nearly enough) why doesn't the youth volunteer as a group? Perhaps at a food bank or a homeless shelter, etc.? Its just an idea but it might help to foster more community spirit.

If other zoros in the toronto area do volunteer, please do let me know as I would certainly like to help out in any way I can.

Jamsheer, why don't you take the initiative to start something like this. I am sure ZSO and OZCF will support you in anyway they can.

Just as an FYI - every winter Darbe Mehr, Sinagog down on Bayview and the Muslim community centre in our area get together and have the Out-of-the-Cold project. Each winter all 3 places get volunteers together and we bring in the homeless into the community centre and feed them. I think they do this on 3-4 weekends in the winter during the coldest time of the season. This year I am sure they are looking again for volunteers. In case you are interested in helping out and spreading the word.

[Jamsheer]

Who do I speak to to find out more details, Afreed?

[zoroangel]

Who do I speak to to find out more details, Afreed?

Probably the President Sam Vesuna. Check the website for his email or phone #. www.zso.org

[Parizad]

The Declining Youth Involvement in the Zarathushti Religion: Do We Have An Answer?
By: Nikan Khatibi

Take a careful look at the following numbers. Today, nearly two-thirds of Americans (67%) consider religion very important. Fully nine-of-ten pray at least once a week and the overwhelming majority of individuals who pray describe God in very personal terms. However, only about half (54%) of college graduates consider religion very important, compared to two-thirds (67%) of high school graduates and three-quarters (75%) of those who have not finished high school. Why such the gloomy numbers for youth as they get more educated?

I read a study that stated that 50% of youth indicated that they just needed a good reason to get involved. The choices that young people make are a product of their upbringing and the availability of religious options. The most important factor, however, is the youths' own spiritual preferences and agency. Youths' style of attachment to parents determines how likely they are to follow in their parents' religious footsteps. Securely attached youth are likely to adopt the faith (or lack of faith) of their parents. On the other hand, those youth who are not as close to their parents are likely to distance themselves from their parents either by curtailing religious practices or by joining a different religious organization and seeking attachment and family. Youth also change their pattern of religious involvement because of peer invitation or to avoid cliques, but peers do not have a strong influence on youths' deeply held spiritual beliefs. When motivated to change religious affiliation, youth generally switch to similar organizations they can find that have the desired characteristics that were missing in the ones they leave behind.

This characterization of youths' religious involvement as mainly a matter of their own choice and agency is at considerable variance with that of traditional social and psychological theory. Traditional perspectives assume that young people's religiosity is mainly a function of the strength of societal pressures around them and youths' own pliability to them. Monumental evidence has proven this false. Rather than being dull and compliant to the wishes of adults, young people seriously seeking spiritual growth and commitment tend to avoid religious contexts that are adult-oriented and paternalistic. Ask any youth and they will tell you that a youth-oriented event such as a church camp or local trip was more important in their spiritual development rather than a more adult oriented event such as a Shah Nameh reading or historical discussion. Many who have been through these rituals perceive them as adult-oriented and unassociated with any real change in status. Religious organizations that successfully foster youth involvement offer youth-oriented contexts of spiritual development, but also provide youth with a role in the larger religious community that is consistent with their almost-adult status. Interesting thus far…don’t you think?

On a personal basis, I have found that younger people - 18 to 35 year olds - are looking for more spiritual meaning in their lives. They're faced with the ultimate questions, such as what they're supposed to be living for or questions in regards to their social patterns. These are questions that can be applied to the Zarathushti religion in its own contexts. It seems that we focus so heavily on discussing the past history of our religion (which is great), but we all tend to forget the importance of discussing current and future situations that our religion faces. We need to step into today’s world and apply the theories and beliefs of the past, today.

What Parents Can Do?

Poor parents – it always seems to come back on their shoulders. With this, I continue to feel strongly that the appropriate role of concerned adults is to serve as a resource and facilitate a process over which youth themselves have ultimate control. If parents compel religious attendance strongly enough to damage the youth-parent relationship, it will likely have the opposite effect to the one intended. The strength and stability of youths' relationships to religious parents, other involved adults, and peers motivates them to invest in those relationships via religious participation. This helps them to begin or strengthen an existing personal relationship to God and higher powers to which they are introduced through religious attendance. Should they develop such a relationship, it usually becomes their main motivation for religious participation.

I feel especially compelled with this relationship because if the goal is to ensure that the youth of tomorrow will remain involved in religion and continue to receive its benefits across major life transitions, such as going to college, they must find their connection themselves. I made that point earlier when I stated the decline in percentage of youth who think religion is important between the time they enter college and leave – probably because college is where pre-existing personal ties can no longer hold them to a religious affiliation on their own.

So Finally….What’s The Answer?

As wishful as I am, there is no simple answer. Just like there is no simple answer on how to raise your child successfully there is no set of plans that can tell you how to make your child involved in the Zarathushti religion. But what both youth and parents can do is work together to make it work. Right off the bat, parents can encourage, not force, their children to get involved in the community, dareh-mehr activities, online discussions and so forth. In addition, in order for the youth to overcome the initial barrier of involvement, it would be incumbent upon the association leaders to create exceptional programs that deal directly with issues and activities that youth are interested in. Sunday school is a great activity, but that may not be the only way to attract youth involvement. Other activities must be organized that pertain to youth interests, such as discussions on friendships, dating, politics, and so forth. From there, youth will develop their connection with Ahura Mazda and the need for self-religious education.



I truly feel that once we are able to really grasp the interest of a generation of youth, they will continue to use our template of exceptional programs and youthful activities to continue and expand with the youth programs.



http://www.youthfullyspeaking.com/index_files/Page757.htm

[metallicat]

Take a careful look at the following numbers. Today, nearly two-thirds of Americans (67%) consider religion very important. Fully nine-of-ten pray at least once a week and the overwhelming majority of individuals who pray describe God in very personal terms. However, only about half (54%) of college graduates consider religion very important, compared to two-thirds (67%) of high school graduates and three-quarters (75%) of those who have not finished high school. Why such the gloomy numbers for youth as they get more educated?


Because the more educated you are the more able you are to filter out BS from reality. People who can think for themselves and critically analyze situations are more likely to see all the hypocrisy and problems that come from religion as opposed to the so called benefits. Imagine what a wonderful and harmonious place the world would be without religion. I think we can see that throughout history, religious leaders best means of control over the general population was through their lack of an education in which they really had no choice but to follow blindly whatever people told them. Hopefully, and it seems likely with these stats, those days are coming to an end.

[Number 96]

Parizad first may I comend you on such a thought provoking and insightful thread! I know it is ancient but given your values have not changed, I am completly with you!
I am on our local Zoro Org Committee and have to deal with the apathetic youth very often. The best/only way to really engage them is by doing things they love - this weekend I am planning a drinking/sleepover night and a bunch of other things - i have had a surprisingly reasonable turnout! Being a youth probably makes it easy to tell what type of activities would be successful.
I agree wholeheartedly with the reasons for the youth distancing themselves and know from experience - my sister never comes to any Zoro events at all. She sees the politics and foolishness and instantly steps away. But distancing yourself will not solve the problem. Interpolitical dialogue is needed to bridge gaps and form proper factions. If you are in a political realm, you gota play political games...